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U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann's presidential aspirations latest casualty of 'shot heard round the world'? Maybe.

by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota), had the uncomfortable experience March 12, 2011 of opening her mouth and inserting her own stiletto heel. Ouch!

But this experience is almost a commonplace for the lady from Minnesota. She's rapidly becoming a national byword for gaffes, missteps, misinformation, and just plain old American stupidity.

And yet the lady from Minnesota still thinks she has a shot at being president of the United States!  Michele, whose grasp of history is (to put it charitably) non-existent has probably never looked up the derivation of the word "minnesota." It is from the Dakota Sioux who named the place "cloudy water". Michele's been drinking the stuff for a long time... maybe that explains the frequency and the goofiness of her gaffes. She ought to look into that water problem... those pinko one-world types have probably put fluoride in it.

This time she made her faux pas de jour in New Hampshire, a place for which she's suddenly developed an acute tendresse. She hopes the yokels like her unique brand of one-liners, misstatements, tough talk, and silky tresses. It worked for the folks in Minnesota's sixth congressional district.

Problem is, Michele's tongue moves faster than her historical knowledge and accuracy. Really and truly, I don't think that bothers Michele one bit. But it sure bothers the people she's misinforming. "Really," they say "she ought to know better..."

This time she made another doozie.

March 12, 2011 in Manchester, N.H., photogenic Michelle (whose luxurious locks are worth any number of political accuracies) butchered the facts about one of America's signature events: the "shot heard round the world," much venerated in these parts.

"You're the state where the shot was heard round the world in Lexington and Concord," she told a group of conservative lawmakers and students at a Manchester, N.H. school. "And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history."

Her Gaffiness' latest muff was reported March 12 on the RealClearPolitics website. Bachmann, according to the site, gave the wrong details once; then stated them wrongly again in the same speech. Michele doesn't dispute the facts as reported.

Given the fact that Michele is a leader in the Tea Party movement, which takes its name from another signature episode in American history, Michele's latest flub is not insignificant. Her audience, hardened conservatives all, didn't bother to clue her into her mistake. After all, she looked cute when she fluffed her hair and tossed her head. The audience no doubt appreciated the herbal essence moment and wanted more of that, not her scalp  -- yet.

Facts? Who needs facts when you're a sound-bite machine?

So frequent are Michele Bachmann's gaffes that there's actually a website entitled "The Ultimate Collection of Bad Michele Bachmann Quotes." She's so prolific in her faux pas that the owners of that site are exhausted keeping up with her non-stop "What me worry?" motor mouth.  It is Michel's proud boast that she never allows mere facts to get in the way of what she's saying. She's quite simply above accuracy. It worked for Ronald Reagan; it's sure to work for her!

On the subject of gay marriage, Michele sagely says, "(Gay marriage) is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that." Here Michele manages to slaughter verb tenses, grammar and factual accuracy all at the same time. Bravissima! What matter pending national bankruptcy, our many wars, the nuclear question after the recent Japanese tsunami, emigration reform etc., etc., when we have a few gays who want to marry? Good for Michele, keeping America moral, one shot from the lip at a time.

"I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?" Michele's view of history (hold the facts) is highly colored by conspiracy theories, malfeasance of the highest order at the highest levels, and always those damnable liberals who are Determined to Bring America Down. She looks for these people under every bed, and if she happens to find they're gay, too, she wags a knowing finger at the miscreants, always making sure the omnipresent camera gets her best side while she's ranting.

"I want the people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back." Michele's imagery is always violent, always predicated on the need to shoot early, shoot often. How she intends to shoot and keep her hair fluffed are not doubt amongst the many subjects in which her presidential campaign will in due course enlighten us. I can hardly wait to find out.  There's more, much more:

"But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States." More of Michele's neo-history. We'd urge her to give it up, but she looks go good talking in front of the students she's misinforming, and conservatives don't care what their kids are taught... so long as they get to pray in school and condemns evolution.

There's more... much, much more. But now it's time to see how Michele responds to the mere reporting of her words. Instead of simply saying that she doesn't know everything, takes responsibility for her missteps, and maybe even saying she plans to bone up on the subjects she mangles, Representative Michele Bachmann does what her Tea Party is so adept at doing: she comes out swinging; saying that she's the victim of a media double standard that wouldn't apply if she were a liberal Democrat.

March 15, 2001 ABC News Radio quoted Bachmann as saying "We all know there's a double standard in the media... as we know all 3,400 members of the mainstream media are part of the Obama press contingent."

Wow! She knocked that one out of the park. We can only admire Michele the more, the persecuted little lady from Minnesota. It's better than David against Goliath, because at least David had a few buddies. But Michele's only got her fabulous "do"... Come to think of it, that worked for Samson. As a Bible scholar of renown, Michele no doubt knows his prowess with the jawbone of an ass. It's certainly worked for her, too. 

About The Author

Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Lant is also the author of 18 best-selling business books. Michele, keep up the good work. And don't even think of cutting your hair!

About The Author

Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Lant is also the author of 18 best-selling business books. Republished with author's permission by Ray Wisniewski <a href=""></a>;.


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